I am trying to clean off my work computer before I go on vacation and in my favorites list are two links, one links to the funeral home's page dedicated to my father and the other to his KC Star Obituary page. Man, how hard is that. The picture we used was in front of a Christmas Tree; his very favorite holiday!
While for me, it may be a little easier because I do not live in the KC area anymore and do not have CONSTANT sights and reminders; at the same time it is very difficult. My dad lives on in his children and in his grandchildren, we have his fiber optic christmas tree up in our living room with his glass ornaments on there and a picture of him, when any of us in the house reference that tree, we reference it as "Grandpa's Tree."
I can't tell you how many times I want to pick up the phone and call him for advice, it's almost daily that something happens that I need his input on. Since his death, amazingly, I have put about three things in my life into effect that he always told me to do/not do; and daily I smile and thank him for those choices b/c they were the right answer and the right thing to do. My father was one of the greatest men I have ever known, and while I knew that when he was alive, it is ever more pressed in my life daily as I raise my own children and make decisions for my life.
I miss him every second of every day, Thanksgiving was quiet without him, Christmas will be dreadful without his laugh and santa hat and suspenders. I can't tell you how much of a character he was, if you knew him you know that he never let a minute go by where he didn't make you "lighten up" no matter the circumstance.
I've said it a million times, and I"ll say it again; his cup was ALWAYS half full, that's all he knew.
As I go into Christmas this weekend, it will be with a heavy heart; I will be missing Dad even more than I already do. Holidays are hard, I miss mom every holiday every year and it never gets easier, this year, there will be two spots empty and that is a bit hard to comprehend.
Love the one's who are around because tomorrow is never promised, shoot, tonight is not promised. I need to do a better job of this myself, never forget your place and ALWAYS tell them you LOVE THEM!
While for me, it may be a little easier because I do not live in the KC area anymore and do not have CONSTANT sights and reminders; at the same time it is very difficult. My dad lives on in his children and in his grandchildren, we have his fiber optic christmas tree up in our living room with his glass ornaments on there and a picture of him, when any of us in the house reference that tree, we reference it as "Grandpa's Tree."
I can't tell you how many times I want to pick up the phone and call him for advice, it's almost daily that something happens that I need his input on. Since his death, amazingly, I have put about three things in my life into effect that he always told me to do/not do; and daily I smile and thank him for those choices b/c they were the right answer and the right thing to do. My father was one of the greatest men I have ever known, and while I knew that when he was alive, it is ever more pressed in my life daily as I raise my own children and make decisions for my life.
I miss him every second of every day, Thanksgiving was quiet without him, Christmas will be dreadful without his laugh and santa hat and suspenders. I can't tell you how much of a character he was, if you knew him you know that he never let a minute go by where he didn't make you "lighten up" no matter the circumstance.
I've said it a million times, and I"ll say it again; his cup was ALWAYS half full, that's all he knew.
As I go into Christmas this weekend, it will be with a heavy heart; I will be missing Dad even more than I already do. Holidays are hard, I miss mom every holiday every year and it never gets easier, this year, there will be two spots empty and that is a bit hard to comprehend.
Love the one's who are around because tomorrow is never promised, shoot, tonight is not promised. I need to do a better job of this myself, never forget your place and ALWAYS tell them you LOVE THEM!
(((hugs))) I feel you on this hun! I still want to pick up the phone and call my dad and then remember he passed away. I know it's hard hun. Feel free to call anytime you need to vent or a broad shoulder to lean on hun!!! Love you and miss you guys!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, Staci. I am your sister in grief this year, and ever year hereafter. I have missed Christmass shopping with my Mom, and planning holiday meals without the delicious Puerto Rican goodies from my mother in law is just not the same at all. Like you, I hear Mom's voice every day, sometimes coming out of my own mouth! Talking, writing, and remembering helps, but the pain just doesn't go away. Big hugs to you!
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